The key to influencing someone is to understand yourself first. When starting out on my professional career I occasionally would be frustrated with people that I worked with who had a different way of working from me and I am sure that they would equally get frustrated with my chatty, upbeat outlook and desire to get things done.
E.g. when engaging with many senior executives they would have a surprised look on their face when I would use ritual cliche when first meeting them rather than getting down to business. My friendly emails would get one word replies… fine, good. My thought process would be ‘have I done something to annoy them?’. This was down to my interpretation of the ‘facts’ with my ‘personality lenses on’. It wasn’t until I was introduced to the Bolton & Bolton model below and later MBTI step 1 & step 2 that I realised that it probably wasn’t personal and I need to flex my style to communicate with them more effectively.
I am not one for putting people in boxes or labelling and everyone has elements of each of the personality types, we just prefer to use the characteristics of some of the boxes more often; so guessing isnt always going to accurate, however it is a very useful guide.
Driver: Be clear, concise and to the point. Information should be fact related. Make sure you listen to them. Bring solutions not problems
Expressive: Allow time for ritual cliche, be positive and forward thinking. Allow them time to talk.
Amiable: Let them know that they are valued and you care about the people aspect of business decisions. Allow time for them to reflect
Analytical: Concentrate on facts, decision making process, track history. Allow time for reflection.
This subject is far to wide ranging for a blog post, feel free to leave comments or contact me if you would like me to run a session with your team using this framework or MBTI step 1 / step 2
Follow me and I will send you a free questionaire to identify your style
A great ted video below
In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.